Lover Of The Uncanny Pillows

"Monster under your bed? You're old enough to know there are no such things as monsters."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Extreme Sisyphus

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Now you can send it."

Magic Tricks

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Traffic Cone Monsters

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

Baseball.

UFO and snowman

Operation.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"What a way to go."

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

Route 666.

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

"Jerry, you can't keep coming back from the dead every time I have coffee with someone."

PODs Venn Diagram

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

Poetry reading nightly

Zombie Zin: The Red of the Dead

Trapeze artists commuting