Lover Of The Obscure Pillows

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Extreme Sisyphus

"Now you can send it."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Baseball.

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

UFO and snowman

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Operation.

"What a way to go."

Route 666.

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Flower tribute

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

Trapeze artists commuting

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

PODs Venn Diagram

Poetry reading nightly

"Jerry, you can't keep coming back from the dead every time I have coffee with someone."

'Whatever it is you're doing down there, Malcolm, I think it's affecting the television.'

Philosophy Dept: Are you really here?

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."