Connoisseur Of The Obscure Pillows

'His habitues tended to be cobbers in mutches.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"Cat got your tongue?"

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

La Dame aux Camelias

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

Chiantis In Translation

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

Blue wine

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

Cover Design for Savoy (No. 3)

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"Just how rare? The first print run of this book, in 1935 was just 6 copies and we're still waiting for one of those to sell...."

'The 89's are very forward with meat on the nose and a lingering marrow-bone finish.'

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"How can I tell him we're only EPNS?"

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

'Alright, gentlemen, let's make a stamp deal.'

'John's found it harder to kick his eBay habit than drugs.'