Connoisseur Of Surprises Pillows

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Surprise!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

Imagine

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

While You Were Out: We Moved!

The Walk of Shame

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

"Woof"

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'A kissogram for the boss? It must be a mistake.'

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

Surprise Party

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...

'Well, on the bright side, we DID manage to keep it a surprise.'

'It's a surprise present for my husband - He's expecting golf clubs!'

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Happy Birthday MUM!

Blue wine

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...