Connoisseur Of Fun Pillows

The Walk of Shame

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Party Animals.

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

Bangers and Mash

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'