Lover Of Obscure Words Gifts

'Never engage a mingy stentor in a brulzie.'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Route 666.

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

Bad Hare Day

John Cooper Clarke

'I'll be right back after these massages.'

Antiques Store with a bin outside with a sign saying 'Not for Sale'.

'Please sir - all of them!'

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"Mom, Dad, I'm merry."

Reflection greeting cards.

"You've got to hand it to Bernie, he certainly lives life on his own terms, Never wanting to follow the herd, no commitments, no stupid egrets."

'Remember, son...forewarned is four-armed.'

"Why, yes, I do have buns of steel."

"Hold on, I just have to send a P-mail."

"Latest news! Janet's got the sack!"

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

'Frankly, when you asked me if I'd like to play a round, this isn't what I thought you had in mind.'

'How about letting me off the hook.'

Free Contradictions only $2.00.

'Difficult negotiations is my main speciality. I'm used to walking on thin ice.'

'His habitues tended to be cobbers in mutches.'

'A moiety of twa is still ae.'

"Look, I got engaged."

"May I write a poem about you?"

'Shroffing the piefort proved it was a fido.'

'The prinker liked to japan his krimmer.'

Leashed Dog Eats Another Leashed Dog

"Mother in Law"

'Nothing rhymes with orange!' 'No it doesn't!'