Lover Of Obscure Words Gifts

'Never engage a mingy stentor in a brulzie.'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

Route 666.

'I'll be right back after these massages.'

John Cooper Clarke

Bad Hare Day

Antiques Store with a bin outside with a sign saying 'Not for Sale'.

'Please sir - all of them!'

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"Mom, Dad, I'm merry."

"Latest news! Janet's got the sack!"

Reflection greeting cards.

"Hold on, I just have to send a P-mail."

"You've got to hand it to Bernie, he certainly lives life on his own terms, Never wanting to follow the herd, no commitments, no stupid egrets."

'Remember, son...forewarned is four-armed.'

"Why, yes, I do have buns of steel."

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

'Frankly, when you asked me if I'd like to play a round, this isn't what I thought you had in mind.'

'Difficult negotiations is my main speciality. I'm used to walking on thin ice.'

Free Contradictions only $2.00.

'How about letting me off the hook.'

'Shroffing the piefort proved it was a fido.'

"Look, I got engaged."

"Mother in Law"

... Apparently, there's a fine line between "follow your bliss" and "stalk your bliss."

"May I write a poem about you?"

'A moiety of twa is still ae.'

'His habitues tended to be cobbers in mutches.'

Leashed Dog Eats Another Leashed Dog

'The prinker liked to japan his krimmer.'