Lover Of Holiday Stories Gifts

Child Catches Santa

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Filming Christmas

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

"Like they say. . . the shadow knows!"

Slay Ride.

"I told you not to ask every b****r we met on the cruise to visit us when we got home!"

"Mrs. Santa Claus wants a divorce, the elves in my workshop is on strike, the reindeer just hate me and global warming makes my place in the North Pole melt!"

"We didn't see anything so special about the light in Greece. We have the same light in Tuckahoe."

"Thank you for the best Christmas ever. - Gracie"

If This Vehicle Is Being Operated In A Dangerous Or Reckless Manner Please Call.....

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

'It's not a stable, it's a pop-up hotel'

'Are you nuts? -- Santa's secret identity is MY dad!'

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

"I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a school-boy." "Our only hope."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas past and future because time has no meaning anymore."

What really happened to the Virgin Mary.

'You've got a cheek asking me if I've been naughty. I saw you kissing my mum under the mistletoe last year!'

'The Prisoners' Aid Society's Lucky Dip seems to be a ,er-runaway success, Sir!!'

Santa's Little Enablers

'...Santa delivers to Yorkshire first...everybody else has to wait because they're not as good.'

'Have I told you about my experience in Korea?'

Memories that still sear