Holiday Storyteller Gifts

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

"I didn't mind the two hour video of their holiday, but..."

Santa waiting for Children to get to Sleep

"I've found this is much more effective than gas..."

'It's not a stable, it's a pop-up hotel'

Santa wouldn't forget the Corleone's presents again...

'I don't know whether the shepherds had infrared imaging equipment or not. I just know they were watching their flocks by night.'

...No I will not sell you my naughty list!

Thanksgiving Recipes

'Look, I know you're fake, but let's ham it up for the old folks.'

Memories that still sear

"I think we're in for their holiday snaps.."

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

'You've got a cheek asking me if I've been naughty. I saw you kissing my mum under the mistletoe last year!'

Filming Christmas

"We didn't see anything so special about the light in Greece. We have the same light in Tuckahoe."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

'Have I told you about my experience in Korea?'

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"I got it from Irma Shingle that the Casselberrys are no longer living together."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Rude Snowpeople

Snowman of the Apes

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"I love this time of year."

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

A feminist Christmas.

"Hello, Number 6!"

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Knight before Christmas