Lover Of Christmas Humor Gifts

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Try me/try me/try me...

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'He's got your nose.'

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Santa's Helpers

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"I noticed a few browns."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Christmas on Other Planets.

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

A centipede's Christmas stockings