Loved One Gifts

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Margarita

'Okay, lifestyles of the rich and famouse, start that motor and get us into some shade.'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"No, I don't still think about him - I'm with YOU now."

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

Tango

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

Ozone layer claims another victim.

Camouflage Unit

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

The Re-Giving Tree

Rose

'It's very nice, dear, but it's still not as lovely as a tree.'

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

'Yes, this is the most direct offsetting of carbon emissions I've seen.'

Everything's coming up roses!

Welcome to Kew Gardens

Go Back to New York

'I gave my wife a single long-stemmed rose...she sent me back for the other eleven!'

Changing house name.

"I love summer."

"Yes, I did mention that I wanted a big Christmas tree. However, I doubt that will fit in our home."