Loved Ones Gifts

This is what happens when we die...

Wife reads 'Hannibal' before going to bed and says "I heard something" to annoyed husband

Intensive waiting.

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

You're the olive in my martini

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'Any child left longer than ten minutes past last bell will be given a free kitten.'

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

'Words can't express how much I Love You - so I'm writing an equation.'

PJ Parties

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

Tango

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

Rose

Happy Valentine!

"You're proposing to me with a flea collar?!"

Everything's coming up roses!

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

'I gave my wife a single long-stemmed rose...she sent me back for the other eleven!'

A Close Call

Pola Negri

God changes calendar page to a new geologic time period.

'My member requires some interest.'

Child with picture of rocket

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'

The first kiss.

The Face Mask

'You promised me a night of unbridled passion!'

'...so you wouldn't have to spend any money in the pub.'

Petting in the park.