Loved Ones Gifts

This is what happens when we die...

Wife reads 'Hannibal' before going to bed and says "I heard something" to annoyed husband

Intensive waiting.

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

You're the olive in my martini

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'Any child left longer than ten minutes past last bell will be given a free kitten.'

'Words can't express how much I Love You - so I'm writing an equation.'

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

PJ Parties

Tango

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

Rose

Happy Valentine!

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

Everything's coming up roses!

"You're proposing to me with a flea collar?!"

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

'I gave my wife a single long-stemmed rose...she sent me back for the other eleven!'

The first kiss.

Pola Negri

Child with picture of rocket

The Face Mask

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'

A Close Call

Maureen Paula O'Sullivan caricature

'My member requires some interest.'

God changes calendar page to a new geologic time period.

Amy Winehouse