Loved One Pillows

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Margarita

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'Okay, lifestyles of the rich and famouse, start that motor and get us into some shade.'

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"No, I don't still think about him - I'm with YOU now."

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

Tango

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

Ozone layer claims another victim.

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

Camouflage Unit

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

Rose

Everything's coming up roses!

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

'Yes, this is the most direct offsetting of carbon emissions I've seen.'

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

'It's very nice, dear, but it's still not as lovely as a tree.'

Welcome to Kew Gardens

Go Back to New York

'I gave my wife a single long-stemmed rose...she sent me back for the other eleven!'

"I love summer."

Changing house name.

Wife reads 'Hannibal' before going to bed and says "I heard something" to annoyed husband

'I know you're at home, Oog -- I can see your feet!'

"Yes, I did mention that I wanted a big Christmas tree. However, I doubt that will fit in our home."