Love Tactician Pillows

'Sorry JD, there's been a takeover bid.'

'A new strategic weapon.'

Military Cupid

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Works every time."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Dating the efficiency expert.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

How to feel confident in love & war

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

"I married for contrast."

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

"Our marriage counselor would be so proud of us now."

Cupid's Heart Dartboard

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

'I'm thinking of marrying Jim. But first, I have to engineer an introduction to him....'

Cupid Takes it Up a Notch