Love-struck Botanist T-Shirts

"There she is. The girl I'm going to marry."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

House plants

'We want to go where the Geraea canescens grow wild and we can tiptoe through the phacelia crenulata!'

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Don't be cross, Leo. I just had to see you."

The Garden of My Heart

"Eating the poinsettia didn't make him sick. It was the three pounds of potting soil."

Football fan

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

Man Gardening Love

'Like I told you yesterday, I think this is a bunch of nonsense.'

'Puberty?'

Will Work for Manure

"You had me at plant based diet..."

Sowing love

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

'Flower'

Rural Pleasures - Wife off with another man whilst husband sleeps

To a wonderful Mum!

Pumping up a cactus

"Thanks for taking care of my plant. You really don't need a 'green thumb', she isn't picky."

'Uh, Liz. That plant isn't getting any faker.'

The Talking Cloche.

'I'm sorry, but your vow of silence includes not talking to plants brother Ambrose!'