Love-struck Botanist Gifts

"There she is. The girl I'm going to marry."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

House plants

'We want to go where the Geraea canescens grow wild and we can tiptoe through the phacelia crenulata!'

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Don't be cross, Leo. I just had to see you."

The Garden of My Heart

"Eating the poinsettia didn't make him sick. It was the three pounds of potting soil."

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

"The good news is you only have an allergy. The bad news is you're allergic to pollen."

Robert Plant.

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Football fan

Man Gardening Love

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

'Like I told you yesterday, I think this is a bunch of nonsense.'

'Puberty?'

Sowing love

Will Work for Manure

"You had me at plant based diet..."

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

'Flower'

Rural Pleasures - Wife off with another man whilst husband sleeps

To a wonderful Mum!

Pumping up a cactus

"Thanks for taking care of my plant. You really don't need a 'green thumb', she isn't picky."

'Uh, Liz. That plant isn't getting any faker.'

The Talking Cloche.