Love Sleuth T-Shirts

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

$1: Family Secrets

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Sexual chemistry set

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

'You had me at 'C - R C = (2 x S X).'

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

"It's not what you think."

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

"We're compatible in every way. That's my concern; we have nothing to argue about."

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"

'The hair-raising twists and turns, the mystery, numbing assault on the mind...THAT'S why I love tax law!'

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"You weren't playing hard to get! You were scared of commitment!"

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'