Lounge Lords T-Shirts

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

Couch Potatoes

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"I'm not 'just sitting here' — my mind is all over the place."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

"Telephone call for you, it's the Bank Manager."

'For the last time, how Club Tropicana makes a profit if the drinks are free isn't your problem.'

Mile High Club

Lion Choir.

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

"And now, with our own unique version of the cole porter classic. . ."

Matthew Perry.

Shirker ant.

'Why is so much easy listening so difficult to listen to?'

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

Patient to therapist: 'How is this supposed to help me stop being a couch potato?'

"Why are they called sweatpants if you don't sweat in them?"

Getting older is . . . when you start to dress for comfort rather than style.

Job Trotter encounters Sam in Mr. Muzzle's kitchen

"Have you seen my onesie?"

"The first rule of musical chairs club is... you have to get out of your chairs!"

'Punch, kick, grapple, bite.' - 'Them's fightin' words!'

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

Singer and Pianist.

"This song is very difficult for me, emotionally. Plus, the chords are hard."