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Mile High Club

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

New Shoes.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

Kensington Fluffies

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'