Lost Property Attendant Gifts

'If we did have it, we don't now. Have you tried Lost and Found?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Lost Property - Missing Head

"In heaven you can pee on the carpet."

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

"Sure. Unless, of course, he's in doggie Hell."

Undergarments drying on washing line propped up with lance.

"So THIS is where all the lost remote controls end up..!"

"Well, you did say that you were looking for a detached property."

Lost & found dept.

House detective.

Dog Heaven

"I love real estate. It's so tangible."

'Reg, have you recovered that windlass yet?'

Homeless elderly parents - 'Isn't it nice that our kids are finally on the property ladder?'

"Is it Humid in here or is it just me?"

'I can't help thinking we should have used a better photo.'

'Well, goodbye. And thanks for your feigned interest.'

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

'My pet turtle is missing, Mr. Ferguson -- would you keep an eye out for him?'

Can you describe it?

Kenwood Park

Lost Property - "...And this is the entire contents of your missing handbag, is it, Madam?"

'Our asking price for this beautiful home is only $600.000, but we're willing to settle for $40.000!'

'Well, our house was worth £350k when the bank repossessed it.'

'Well a lot of good it was to look there!'

"Since 1954, I've lost five sets of keys, eleven wallets, nine pairs of gloves, and thirty-two ball-point pens. Has any of that stuff ever turned up?"

Bureau of Missing What Have You.

SPOT BELOVED COMPANION 2004-2010, 'I told you not to let him eat your homework!'

It's so quiet here now that the goldfish is gone.