Property Detective Gifts

"Well, you did say that you were looking for a detached property."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Starter Homes

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"It's in move-in condition."

Real Estate Life

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

"Thinking of buying a larger property are we, Madam?"

House Hunters of the Old West

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

'I'm sure a little baking soda will freshen it up in here.'

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

'That must be the termite inspector.'

"We love the view. It helps to remind us that we're part of a larger community."

'They've got everything...one even has it's own shed.'

"You want a cheap house in a nice neighborhood? -- Okay, why are you here really?"

"Hmmm, didn't I mention it before? Yes, this property neighbours a cat sanctuary..."

Estate agents jockeying for position with sale boards

"There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have trouble with those in the back yard."

For sale

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

"I love real estate. It's so tangible."

House detective.

'We may find that there are hidden service charges with this place ...'

US Housing Market

"Hang on - I thought you said it was a listed building..!!"

'You'll need to put these on before the inspection.'