Property Defender Gifts

Tenure under attack.

No hunting sign: Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Pasadena Playhouse War

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

"That wasn't supposed to happen!!"

"It's in move-in condition."

Menifee Madness

"I can destroy your bank of knowledge with one blast from my destructo-beam!"

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We worked on this place for years – a real labor of love."

"Whoa now, hold on hold on! I just wanted to read that sign there. I couldn't see it from the road."

'You, me, them...these days we're all someone's intellectual property.'

An Elegant Defense. Huh? Nothing. Richly entertaining** Did your e-reader just say the book's name? **Wall Street Journal. No. Absolutely not. An Elegant Defense. It did it again. You stole my idea! Shh. Immune System Science. I'm suing!!!

"What about this book, boss?" "Yeah, get rid of it—it's got too many long words in it."

"You're overdrawn Mr. Gormley..."

"We love the view. It helps to remind us that we're part of a larger community."

"How many acres do I have? What's an acre?"

"Remember the good ol' days when the house was earning more than the two of us?"

"We got a great buy on the apartment, but, unfortunately, it didn't include the mineral rights."

Desert Island Eviction Notice

Library Closures.

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"This course covers deceptive student loans, bankruptcy laws and revenge."

"I love real estate. It's so tangible."

"Well, you did say that you were looking for a detached property."

"Look! They misspelled 'by' ... "

"Yes, Gary, I'm sure the school hasn't banned your math textbook. Now, go back to class."

Illustration on the dangers of homebuyers failing to get correct property searches done. Couple look on in dismay as bus and ramblers have right of way over their land.

"Actually he goes with the house...he's been loafing there for ten years and according to the law of easement by prescription..."

Homeless elderly parents - 'Isn't it nice that our kids are finally on the property ladder?'

"It's a basement apartment, but it's conveniently right next to the subway."