Longevity Studies Gifts

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

Providers struggle to come to terms with longevity issues...

37 years in the same position.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"