Longevity Studies Gifts

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

Providers struggle to come to terms with longevity issues...

37 years in the same position.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

Midlife: You Are Here.

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

That's Seven in Human Years

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'