Long Neck Lover Gifts

Why giraffes hate winter

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"1-1"

"The bagels are better in New York."

Chillaxing!

Giant gorilla peers at female victim. She says into cellphone: "I can't talk now, he's right here."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Did you miss me?

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

The Lemmings of Montauk

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"Yin and Yankee fan"

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"Can you believe it? A couple of page-turners, one affair, and, wham - it's Labor Day."

"I'm telling you, Manhattan is over."

Snow fall buries the Statue of Liberty

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

American Gothic: I Love NY

Snooker.

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Statue of Liberty on the Phone.

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

"Today is the first day of the rest of our lives in garbage."

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

Man on tube using dreadlock as support.

Woody Allen

Distraction Next Exit: Almost there.

"Have you seen my onesie?"

Rats pick out subway lines to inhabit.

"That's one 50-gallon drum of shampoo, one 50-gallon drum of conditioner, and one leaf-blower. Sign here."

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

'My wife and I have single beds, mine in London and hers in Lincoln.'