Long Drive Lover Gifts

Distraction Next Exit: Almost there.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Did you miss me?

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

Why giraffes hate winter

The Lemmings of Montauk

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"I think I know why they call it 'Happydale'!"

"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."

Speed enforced by tractor beam.

Mom and Dad Really Lose It - 1/4 Mile.

'Would you like a shake with your fries?'

Snooker.

robot in car

Couple driving through a tunnel and coming out with a bear in their car.

"Can you believe it? A couple of page-turners, one affair, and, wham - it's Labor Day."

"There's only me, but if you can wait till Thursday week, there's a bloke in the mail truck!"

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

No Layoffs Next 200 Miles

The Lonesome Highway - Next 30 Miles No Shoulder to cry on.

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

Peak Oil - 'Are we there yet, Dad?'

Man on tube using dreadlock as support.

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

'We've got to go back, Maurice; Barry forgot his teddy person.'

Adopt a highway

Car party.

'Remember I said I bought the largest RV on the market? Well, it has a flat.'

'With the added weight on their chests, donors can give a pint of blood at a time.'

SOUTH OR BUST