Long Shot Lover Gifts

Snooker.

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'Hole in one!!!!'

Zeus's Caddy

Why giraffes hate winter

"Herb's from Texas."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Did you miss me?

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

“I’m robbing the Sheriff of Nottingham’s coach at ten-thirty. Then yoga at noon. Followed by my bassoon lesson. The baguette is for lunch.”

Tyrannosaurus Tex

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

Dial-A-Pizza van arriving at Western Fort

Meryl Streep

The Lemmings of Montauk

A hunter hitting his first bird.

Cowboy

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."

'I got an 'A' in munitions.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

"We met in Purgatory, and I think we're going to try to make it work long distance."

Man on tube using dreadlock as support.

Baby Paparrazzi

'My wife and I have single beds, mine in London and hers in Lincoln.'

Cowboy with a 'Friends of the 'earp' T-shirt

Cowboy reads book: 'The Joy of Tex'.

Napoleon film

Distraction Next Exit: Almost there.

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

'OK - I'll enter 'beauty queen', 'millionairess' and 'pub landlady' and we'll see waht comes up' (dating agency).

"For some odd reason, finding some more faults makes me love L.A. even more."

Gillian Leigh Anderson

"I got a text from Black Bart. What does a sideways frowny face mean?"

"It's a big responsibility but I believe I can be both 'Joe six pack' and 'Joe six gun'."