Lone Diner T-Shirts

"When you've concluded the entertainment portion of your evening, sir, I'll be happy to bring you your entrée."

'You're right. Table for one.'

'I booked a table for one under the name of Narcissus.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"Regular service or affected?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

Zagat Rated.

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"Aperitif?"

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

"Linguini for two?"

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

"It's made with real angel hair."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Lunch

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

"I'm sending it back. This doesn't taste funny at all."

"Is this business or pleasure?"