London Living Satirist Gifts

"It's a modest studio flat with own garden, 30 minutes from central London."

Hoodie Hang-out

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"Thank god we're out of the city."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Snowman Driver

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

This is where Brent council sends you

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

Traffic Lights Medicine

George Clooney.

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

Lex Ave Express

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

'This IS our retirement plan.'

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

Screen Addiction

The Scream take its temperature

Explorers discover the last contrarian without a podcast.

"The Bluebird of Happiness is on his way. We're security."

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Jack and Jill Find Vending Machine