Logical Conundrum Fan Gifts

"Okay, if I can't use my last wish to wish for another three wishes, can I wish that I find another magic lamp?"

Bright idea

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

'I found another pothole.'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

I'm representing Rudy in your relationship discussions. It's common sense. It will enable both parties to not get too emotional. You're trying to prevent emotion from bleeding into a relationship discussion. Check. Dumbest thing I've ever heard! Calm down.

I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University. Seriously? Nobody's going to go to a psychologist who's got a diploma from some random online college. And psychologists have to have a whole arsenal of treatments. They can't just use reverse psychology for everything. So what you're reverse-saying is, I'll be sought-after and highly effective. No that's ... ok, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

What came first, the chicken or the egg

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'Think about it: If you eat me now, you won't get an egg every day...'

'I'll get this rock; you get the other.'

"Well, if everybody does it, it must be o.k."

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

Scuba Skater

If you could be any vegetarian, which one would you be and why?

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

Geographic Oddities. It defies logic, but Little Rock is a bigger city than Boulder.

"He's on your 'personal computer'. . . his name is Norman and he's really good at mental arithmetic."

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

'We need someone in here, like now.'

'According to the surveys nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot...'

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

That side up.

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

'Know what? I don't feel drafts anymore.'

"I know we decided this was immoral, but no one has called me on it in a while, so I think I'll stick it out through the season."