Lodging Manager Gifts

Waiter and Landlady

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Sick Building Syndrome

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Caution signs.

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Look, son, real estate."

Am Awful Crammer.

"I rented out the basement."

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The Suite Hereafter

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"Ho, ho, you're fired."

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Mini Bar

Fire door.

"The pH level seems a little off."