Lodging Gifts

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'No ice.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'Now here's a place I like!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

'I know it's gassy...'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Shaken not stirred

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

Sunbathing in the park

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Lounging by the pool

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

Barman In Love.

Contented man and cat sleeping

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

The Martini is invented.