Lodging Pillows

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Three Bears Bed and Breakfast. Rated Four Stars by Goldilocks.

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'No ice.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'How very Cumbria.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Now here's a place I like!'

'I know it's gassy...'

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

Shaken not stirred

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Lounging by the pool

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Sunbathing in the park

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

The Martini is invented.