Land Manager Gifts

Gale Norton - US Secretary of the Interior.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Farmers' Warnings.

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Look, son, real estate."

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"I rented out the basement."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Contest of wills.

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"The pH level seems a little off."

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'