Locker Room Conversationalist Pillows

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"Mother, you were right."

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

You Don't Know What It's Like

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

I'm beginning to think that my wit and Erudition is wasted on you

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

Prince longed for the good old days when dogs were dogs.

"Remember, guys – what happens in this CrossFit gym is references ad nauseam outside this CrossFit gym

You were great last night

'Relax, the game is over.'

Size matters!

"Do you play?"

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

'You've lost a step...'

What really goes on in the bathroom.

'He took a pass and disappeared?'

'Hey Kekyll c'mon you should have changed by now.'

"And if you forget who you're covering I'll be on the sidelines, in Hugo Boss, ready to remind you."

"Men's locker room. Caution: May not be as offensive as you've been led to believe."

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.