Locker Room Humorist Pillows

'You've got a bad attitude, Doug. You need to be quarantined before it spreads and we're forced to destroy the entire team!'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

Size matters!

'You've lost a step...'

'Oh, man, Russell,,,it really smells like death in here'

"The Starview carwash is willing to pick up your seven million dollar contract, and they'll pay it our over 194 years."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

Bed Fellow

'Gravity wins - again.'

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

'My member requires some interest.'

"Trust me, this place is worth the wait."

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

Chicane

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

'Relax, the game is over.'

Toilet door. Table for one!

You were great last night

Yesterday, the warranty on the Wilsons' waterbed expired

' Dave - I need you to give me more space.'

Urologist waiting room surprise.

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

'Sorry buddy, this one's taken.'

Missing sock poster

"Do you mind?"

"Honey, you're snoring."

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"I always find that you get seen quicker if you sit like this."

'What's more - if you transfer from your present religion today, you'll qualify for our special introductory offer of forgiveness of all sins and guaranteed everlasting life.'

'This is the NBA, Doug. It's a whole new level. You need to stop referring to your locker as 'my cubby'...'

"No, I'm not here to see the doctor- just the magazines."