Labor Room Humorist Pillows

"His first out-of-body experience."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"I thought you wanted me to change."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"WHich one is mine?"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

Downloading Pregnancy

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Smoke and mirrors.

Saline Drip Sommelier.

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

"Gross."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."