Labor Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Maternity Ward Door Sign - 'Push, push, push'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

Indecision and Outrage Trays

'Here's your workplace. You will find out company is not big on CCTV cameras or punch clocks.'

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

Two doctors holding hands

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'Surely you can manage on your salary!'

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

Office zombie.

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."