Labor Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Maternity Ward Door Sign - 'Push, push, push'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

Indecision and Outrage Trays

'Here's your workplace. You will find out company is not big on CCTV cameras or punch clocks.'

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

Two doctors holding hands

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Office zombie.

'Surely you can manage on your salary!'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."