Locavore Life Gifts

'Is it local?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

See you at the farmers market!

"Is the MSG local?"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Local food for local consumption

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Is his nose locally grown?"

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"George often brings his work home with him."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"How are we on bread?"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid