Lobster Fan Gifts

Shellfie

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

Your lobster was off!

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

'No, they're not my children. They gave me these for doing a good job at work.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

A man and baby wearing bibs

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

Thermidor Dali

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

Sea Horse outside saloon

Lobster Hot Tub Party.

At the Lobster Mill, every night is an open casket.

Fishing off Brighton - 'Oh yes! it's very easy to say 'catch hold of him!''

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

Great Moments in Culinary History.

Fish near-death experiences.

business lunch

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

Goldfish funeral

"I hate shaking hands with him, he always squeezes as hard as he can!"

Pig Cheese

'This is terrible. If the plankton go out on strike, it'll disrupt the entire food chain.'

'If you could learn to open up a little, you might make a few more sales.'

'Every time I pass through here I get heartburn.'

'No more lobsters, my wife said, after our last one died.'

'No, I'm NOT break dancing.'

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

Favourite Food

"Greg will be giving your massage today."