Loan Enthusiasts Gifts

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'Wait a minute....!

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

All Major Cash Honored.

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"We've got borrower's remorse."

Loans. To make a long story short, my cash flow needs some new tributaries.

And your repayment period starts...Now!

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

"I see it's payday again Perkins!"

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

Security/Savings

'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'

'You need to alter your portfolio allocation. Right now it's 25% stocks, 15% bonds and 60% margin loans.'

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

Loan trap

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

"O.K. final question: I'm thinking of a number between one and 100."

"Before I begin my summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... have you considered the benefits of a reverse mortgage."

'Are you kidding, you credit's better than ours.'