Loafer Lover Pillows

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

"This stool shall pass."

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Beer Stall

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Volcaniax

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"How are we on bread?"

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

'No, and I mean it! We just went for a walk an hour ago.'

I bake my own bread.

Book on Thumb Twiddling

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

'It was worse than that ? I was slimed by a lawyer!'

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

Beer Club for Men.

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

Pints of Lager

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

"My parents hate it."

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

Iceland volcano

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

Dog Dictionary: ARF bow-wow woof.