Loafer Lover Gifts

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

Beer Stall

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Volcaniax

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

I bake my own bread.

'No, and I mean it! We just went for a walk an hour ago.'

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"How are we on bread?"

Book on Thumb Twiddling

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

'It was worse than that ? I was slimed by a lawyer!'

Beer Club for Men.

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

Pints of Lager

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

Dog Dictionary: ARF bow-wow woof.

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

"My parents hate it."

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

Iceland volcano

'I fancy stretching my legs. Could you order the Bitter?'