Live Commentary Lover Gifts

"Lucky devil, he's listening to the live Test Match commentary from Australia."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

Egguy JUMP!! 62 Eggs like this. Gr'Egg LOL. M'Egg OMG so funny!!!!! 3.

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

The nurse of the future

"Down here, greed is totally unregulated."

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'And that's not all, everyone in the audience today is going home with a brand new Buick!!! Oh wait...That's next Tuesday.'

Effective Catcalls

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That procedure isn't covered. Now, spin the wheel to see what you'll pay."

'Wow, they certainly know how to hide their poverty!'

"Would you be willing to participate in a brief survey following this transaction concerning customer satisfaction?"

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

Now Entering Urban America, Please Drive Around Chalk Outlines.

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

'And instead of a golden parachute, we give you a rusty umbrella.'

"Check this out - I think the guy behind us just got lucky!"

"Well they look pretty undocumented to me."

Michael Jackson from the Thriller video...and at a recent court appearance.

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

Big Brother Attacks Your Brain,

'I slipped into something less comfortable.'

"Siri, find me someone better."

"That's the parents' section."

Martha Stewart's punishment - "Well, if you ask me, it might have been worse. The court could have sentenced me to watch all my old television programs."

Crash test dummy unemployed begging.

"I'm sorry if my income is hurtful to you."

"How ostentatious - and not even this year's poppy!"