Live Commentary Lover Gifts

"Lucky devil, he's listening to the live Test Match commentary from Australia."

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

The nurse of the future

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Down here, greed is totally unregulated."

Effective Catcalls

"Oh, I'm sorry. That procedure isn't covered. Now, spin the wheel to see what you'll pay."

'Wow, they certainly know how to hide their poverty!'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"Check this out - I think the guy behind us just got lucky!"

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

"Would you be willing to participate in a brief survey following this transaction concerning customer satisfaction?"

'And instead of a golden parachute, we give you a rusty umbrella.'

Now Entering Urban America, Please Drive Around Chalk Outlines.

"Well they look pretty undocumented to me."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

Big Brother Attacks Your Brain,

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"Siri, find me someone better."

'I slipped into something less comfortable.'

"That's the parents' section."

Martha Stewart's punishment - "Well, if you ask me, it might have been worse. The court could have sentenced me to watch all my old television programs."

'It's hard to commit to the army when they remember the dead and forget the living.'

"I'm sorry if my income is hurtful to you."

"How ostentatious - and not even this year's poppy!"

"Come on, you know it's true: We work all the time while our queen is basically a spoilt brat!"