Social Commentary Lover Gifts

"Well they look pretty undocumented to me."

National scapegoat committee: 'So that's agreed - once again we blame shortsighted, lefthanded redheads.'

"Sweetheart, use your inside gun."

Effective Catcalls

"Our studies have shown that 'nature' and 'nuture' are both important but nothing like as important as a trust fund!"

'Did you hear about Captain Sykes? He's missing in action after an attack by a platoon of winos.'

Deaf Row

'Can't afford a Second Home.'

"Oh, I'm sorry. That procedure isn't covered. Now, spin the wheel to see what you'll pay."

"Guess we don't need to write 'Sorry we missed you...' slips anymore."

'I'm lazy, workshy and anti-social but at least, I'm honest. Please help.'

'Look at that plumage. He must be the alpha male.'

'That's the only heritage you get round here.'

Grim Reaper joins the NRA

'How about lunch tomorrow at noon? No wait, tomorrow is out.'

Martha Stewart's punishment - "Well, if you ask me, it might have been worse. The court could have sentenced me to watch all my old television programs."

'Wow, they certainly know how to hide their poverty!'

Our Kevin soon had the snow cleared up.

'I hate these braces!'

'Only on £20,000 a year please help.'

"Ignore him. We don't talk to the gatherers."

Freddy is a pacifist who counters violence with words. Sam the mugger likes people like Freddy.

"Appeal for donations: Please donate lots of money to poor man Musk so he can afford Viagra!"

'You're late!'

Now Entering Urban America, Please Drive Around Chalk Outlines.

"I want to show my Missus what happens to guys like you."

'It's hard to commit to the army when they remember the dead and forget the living.'

'Was it Drink Related?'

The Bananastan Border Guards failed to interpret our designer stubble and 'distressed look' as critique of the social system we had just fled.

"Street crime must be really bad...he's too scared to go out intimidating people."

'I'm Hartwell, sir -- Bixby was transferred to the night shift.'

Nice Thoughts $2

Masks Required

"At least have the courtesy of maintaining social distancing."

'I've been working zero hours for years.'