Little Sneaker Gifts

'When did you decide to get all fancy and tie your shoes?'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Secretive Weigh In.

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

'She dressed herself this morning.'

Serious Putty

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

'The game was called off on account of rain.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"I want one of those!"

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

Snake Dress-Up

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'Do these come in blue?'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

"No you don't young man....Those shoes cost me 4125.000, there's no way you're wearing them outdoors!"

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

'Shhh. . . even in his sleep he can hear cookies crunching.

Can I help you? I need some sneakers. Sale. Okay. We've got ones for running, jogging, walking, basketball, tennis, pickleball, hiking, cross-training, golf, bowling, volleyball, squash, badminton, jumproping, racquetball, skateboarding, climbing. What activity best describes your needs? What do you think, Ernie? Was "ottomanning" a choice?

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

Football

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."