Kitchen Sneaker Gifts

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

BEWARE! Cheshire snake in the grass!

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

Senior Photos

Patent Office. A credit card chip embedded in sneakers? How would you make a purchase? Swipe your feet!

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."

'Shhh. . . even in his sleep he can hear cookies crunching.

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

"No you don't young man....Those shoes cost me 4125.000, there's no way you're wearing them outdoors!"

'Don't let the warning not to travel, stop you from travelling into the kitchen and putting the kettle on.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

Can I help you? I need some sneakers. Sale. Okay. We've got ones for running, jogging, walking, basketball, tennis, pickleball, hiking, cross-training, golf, bowling, volleyball, squash, badminton, jumproping, racquetball, skateboarding, climbing. What activity best describes your needs? What do you think, Ernie? Was "ottomanning" a choice?

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

Ducks on Trucks

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

Keeping fit by weight training with 'le creuset' saucepans

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

Boot Wishes it was Trainer.

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'