Scale Sneaker Gifts

Secretive Weigh In.

Critisize your weight.

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Scales

Fat man on scales.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Shrink

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Woman and sport trainer

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'