Little Screen Warrior Gifts

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Happy holidays for kids.

Martial Arts

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

"Kids, look at the weather! Why don't you play outside?"

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

"When they said I'll get unlimited calls and texts with my new mobile contract, I didn't realise they would all be from PPI insurance companies....."

Facebook's business model

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'Dinnertime!', 'Not now, Mom -- the fate of the Galaxy is in my hands!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer games in the office

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Mike, did you just call me the B-Word, you fatherless good-for-nothing piece of excrement?'

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

'Don't you know too much TV is bad for your eyes...and your morals, attention span, intelligence...'

"It's a new tweet from our teacher. She wants us to turn off our phones."

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"I'm prescribing stronger glasses for you, and I recommend a neck brace for your smartphone use."

You've been staring at that screen all day. Why don't you do something else?

"I get lot's of exercise, computer football, computer cricket and computer rugby."

"He's in training for the 'E' Olympics."

'You're lucky. Some people don't look good wearing dirt.'