Screen-free Warrior Gifts

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

'He's under office-arrest.'

"Kids, look at the weather! Why don't you play outside?"

View from the Window

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"Now that's what I call a high definition display.".

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Facebook's business model

"I don't allow cell phones during breakfast. That's why she's talking into her pop tart."

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"I bet you kids are all losing your minds without a wi-fi signal."

Health warning - This job will lead you to drink.

The days before television

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

'Don't you know too much TV is bad for your eyes...and your morals, attention span, intelligence...'

"In my day we had trimphones."

Mobile phones vs books

"Isn't this nice? No screens. Just the majesty of the here and now."

"We're watching television less and making our own fun more."

"It's a new tweet from our teacher. She wants us to turn off our phones."

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

"I'm prescribing stronger glasses for you, and I recommend a neck brace for your smartphone use."

You've been staring at that screen all day. Why don't you do something else?

"Mom, I can't take the stress of social media. I'm running away from my home page!"

Healthy Ultimatum

"I get lot's of exercise, computer football, computer cricket and computer rugby."

"It's summer, go outside and play."

'Why don't you guys go out and play catch?"

Wifi Problem

Your entire life may be monitored and recorded for quality assurance purposes.

"Now I know we're in hell... There's no cell phone reception!"