Little Money Manager Gifts

'May I have a moment of your time? I'd like to tell you about a plan my bank has for your IRA...'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"He likes it."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

Money exchange

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

Overdraft limit.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

What is possible and what is probable.

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Piggy Bank ATM

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"So dude, how much ahve you saved up from your job?"

Piggy bank...cash cow.