Little Finance Managers Gifts

'I'm the only kid on the block whose parents deduct a 'management fee' from his allowance.'

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"He likes it."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Stock market investment advice

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Money exchange

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

wealth investment

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'